Stomp the toads, but don’t kick the puppies!
Controversial thought of the day: when is it okay to verbally reprimand someone for bad behavior on the job? For some of us, never, we’re all individual contributors and have no real say on the actions of others (except maybe to vocalize “It hurts me when you…“)
For people managers though, there’s eventually a time when someone needs to be called out on their poor performance. If it’s affecting the project, if deliverables are being delayed, if the client is authentically upset; something needs to be said about the <cliché> in the room. So, here’s my advice to keep in mind when choosing how you handle the situation: stomp the toads, but don’t kick the puppies.
The Toad:
Experienced, mature enough to know better, and most likely rotten to the core. I’m not talking about ones that are unionized (King Koopa United 100), or that are so close to retirement that they don’t give a damn anymore, because both of these are untouchable for one reason or another (more on that below). They could be narcissistic, mean-spirited, the office jerk who just creeps along waiting to knock someone down a hole. These are the ones you can freely call out when you see them do it. Be tactful but direct, and specify exactly what they did wrong and how it hurt the people in hearing vicinity.
There’s a time and a place where you establish what is unacceptable behavior for everyone on the team. This idea goes back to the quality-of-life crimes talked about in Malcolm Gladwell’s The Tipping Point, where turnstile jumping and graffiti trended into more violent crimes. Same idea. When one person in a group cheats, others cheat because they feel entitled, not that they are necessarily morally predisposed.
The Puppy:
Young, inexperienced, new on the job (or maybe the project), and in its innocence chewed the furniture and peed on the rug. Annoying, but nothing you should get too worked up over. Mainly because you will do more damage to the morale of the entire project than you help by calling this type of person out. These need to be dealt with quietly, in private, and explained to how their behavior is falling short, and advise them on what they can do to improve.
The puppy never meant to hurt anyone, it just doesn’t know any better. A quick chat is usually all it takes to get what you need from this contributor. Because they’re so new, others likely won’t try to emulate their behavior and just chalk it up to inexperience.
The Untouchables:
Don’t even try it. They have extenuating circumstances that make you have to call in the big guns in order to fix the situation. These include management senior to you, individuals over 40 years old, and unionized workers who you do not manage directly (functional or weak matrix organizational structure). Even if they do report to you directly, union rules typically call for written warnings, and you could still get slapped with a grievance.
If you have an individual like this on your project that’s causing delays, not meeting deadlines, failing to deliver on promises kept, it’s best to shift key tasks away from them to other members of the project and work with your peers to find a way to replace them if possible.
Personally, I find short, impromptu chats with everyone to be the best method of dealing with people issues. It allows them to save face, and gives you an opportunity to find out about deeper issues that might be driving the problem. So again, the above methods aren’t meant to be used when something like that exists; that’s only when you have someone who is intentionally not pulling their own weight to the detriment of others.
Best wishes!










